another year as me

by Sarena Steeber

supported by
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.

      name your price




some old songs, some new songs, some songs written about seeing a beautiful sunrise but not wanting to get out of bed, some songs written about loss


released December 23, 2015



all rights reserved


Sarena Steeber Fort Wayne, Indiana

contact / help

Contact Sarena Steeber

Streaming and
Download help

Track Name: dermis
i want to press my
fingers into the ridges of
yr scars
into the darkest parts of
yr skin
i'd pull out everything
black and ugly

maybe yr
nothing like me
but that
couldn't keep me away
i knew that i'd
find depth in you
i'd find
out bad things about you
Track Name: conjure
august nights spent
alone in my apartment
wishing i could be out
with you
you're in the night air
you are in the stars
you are in the smoke passing out of
my window
wherever you really are
doesn't matter
when i conjure up
your memory
Track Name: all I wanted
if i could write you a song about how i feel
would you learn the words ?
would you sing along with me?
we could start a band you could teach me how to play
but i'd never be that good anyway
all i ever wanted to do is spend time with you in your room
you are a dreamer and i want you to teach me how to dream
because sometimes i see so black and white it's hard to enjoy anything
all i ever wanted to do is spend time with you in your room
if i could see the world would you come along with me?
i could teach you how to read a map
and we could go anywhere
but i know i'd get homesick anyway
all i ever wanted to do is be alone with you
if i could change the way you see me
would you finally understand how my heart breaks
when you won't even let me be your friend
all i ever wanted to do is be alone with you in your room
if i could find you after all this time
would you open your door and let me inside
all i ever wanted to do is spend time with you
Track Name: fabric
i want to put myself into the folds of yr fabric
into a maze of paisley and red
i want to admire the alcoves of yr heart
i won't leave until i've breathed in
everything about you
yr softest places taunt me
yr sharpest cliffs haunt me
but i'm not through just yet
not until i know all the things i shouldn't
if you chase me away
if you hold up your hands
i won't have any place else to go
Track Name: knots
twisting my stomach into knots
whenever you're too close
each time we bump elbows
my words get caught
really its that i like you
a little too much
because every look you pass me
is like a punch to the gut
Track Name: friend
every vision i had
of the months to come
featured you with me
building something new
and learning to grow up
but now i've lost you
you're static on the radio
or fingerprints on the window
and you've replaced me with
something i could never give you
but it's fine i guess
after all you're just my friend
you're just my friend
Track Name: close enough
loneliness takes many shapes
but i always seem to see your face
and i'm tired of wishing
for something i can't have
sadness is trying to forget
and i'm tired of waiting for you
for any sign or clue
i guess part of me will always belong to you
i guess part of me will always want all of you
and i don't know if that's love but it must be close
it must be close
happiness sometimes seems so far
as far away as you
Track Name: too tired
thought about resting on yr shoulder in the dark
but i couldn't lift my head up
thought about telling you that night
but i couldn't move my lips (and you had to leave)
thought about holding your hand
but my arms fell asleep
i'm always so tired when you're around
i might as well fall asleep
Track Name: storage
store my heart in a cool, dry place
i don't need it now
and in case you ever want it
i'll write your name on the box
i don't want to go driving with you, anymore
i really don't want to do anything anymore
i guess you won't see much of me now
i don't think you'll mind, somehow
bye, friend i am
putting myself into storage
because i don't get much use
Track Name: day trip
seeing you again
was better than every dream i've had about it
but now i think i'm finally over it
there are other things to do
and other heartbreaks to have
but it was really nice to catch up again
there's nothing like seeing an old friend
but in case we don't meet again
i want you to know
every lonely night i had
was for you
Track Name: lavender marriage
when i say i'm content you know i'm lying
it's a false statement but at least i'm trying
false like your lavender marriage
i can tell how you feel when i look into your eyes
it's no surprise/it's not surprising
that hollowed out place in your chest
is meant for me
and i keep a place here for you, too
but each day i wait feels like a great mistake
and the pain within that hollow place just grows and grows
but what do i know about love
just what i've seen in black and white
some distorted version of it all
and sometimes i think it'd just be easier to call
up anyone and go out and lose it all
than wait any longer for your heart
to locate that hollow place and validate me
validate me
Track Name: autumn
every orange leaf
that crunches beneath my feet
is just a noisy reminder
of the autumn that i loved you
when the sidewalks were damp
i would wear the brown sweater
i got for 50 cents
the smell of burning wood
drifted in forty degree air
and the grass turned into
the brown shade of your hair
in the autumn that i loved you
school wasn't so bad
i read a lot of poetry
and when i wrote
it was about you
in the autumn that i loved you
Track Name: long time
i know it's been a long time
since i saw you last
when i moved i didn't expect
to hear from you again
i know it's been a long time

your eyes have haunted my mind
since the night i left
if i had my way i guess
someday i'd go back

i know it's been a long time
since we spoke last
if you said hello again
i'd say hello back
i know it's been a long time

and if i could try again
i'd tell you what i should
that i love your way of
blowing me off
Track Name: porch light
you stood by my front door while the porch light
wrapped a halo around you
i didn't want you to leave
if you could see yourself the way i saw you that night
you'd understand
i'm trying to find you
i hold a spyglass up to things you've said
if you'd match my eyes just one second longer
maybe i could figure out what's going on
inside your head
i know what i want for the first time, ever
its to see you wear that halo forever
if you'd let my palm touch yours
you'd feel your own softness against my closeness
we'd never have to close our eyes again
because the light on my porch is blinding
Track Name: t.v.
mumbling thoughts in the dark
with the tv on
with the tv on mute

i could love someone like you
i could love someone like you
but would you want me to
would you want me to